Small Lingering Regrets

There are times in life when people make mistakes. We're not talking about the fatal, unforgivable ones, just those that you can find yourself thinking about while waiting for your kettle to do its thing. Or while waiting for the rain to stop. The lingering moments that slides from the backseat to the front window of your thoughts while you're having a slow afternoon. For example....

1. Maybe I could have lend an ear to the friend a while ago when they really needed to talk to someone. Sure it was also a stressful time for me but the friend was comfortable enough to ask it I can listen...maybe I could have not said no? And spent the remaining free time moments and other occasional others wondering what happened to that friend. Did they get to talk to someone after all?

2. Or that minute in the rush hour in the subway when the old man standing next to you had held on with a death grip and kept signaling for help, but you don't know his language. Perhaps I could have been less selfish and tried to help more and figure out what he needed help with. Was he able to get down the last stop in time before the doors closed? Why did I try to help only to give up because I had an appointment, where I missed anyway? I shouldn't have given the struggling person hope when I did not successfully helped him. Maybes and Whys clouds the mind, doubting past actions.

3. Once we bought a freshly "killed" or "knocked out" fish from the shop that sold delicious grilled fish, it was alive. It was still and silent until one bumpy turn into the neighborhood when it jumped and struggled to breathe. I shouldn't have sat there and cried, pitied it for uselessly struggling to live knowing it'll end up being a meal. I could have grabbed a water bottle and poured some water in the bag to keep it alive. Instead of covering my ears and eyes to wait for others to do something about my distress, I should have asked to release the fish into the deeply dug pond in front of the row of houses before arriving home. That fish's last struggle could have saved its life, but it did not.

4. Another childhood friend I could have kept in contact with, if only I was more diligent in writing and sending emails back then as I am now. Despite the different personality and moving to different schools, or different countries, even if we wouldn't have been close friends, we would have both have another person to talk to who we can recall simpler times with. We both could have had another contact number recorded to remind us of another option to call one more person that wouldn't judge our actions to harshly.

5. Or regrets about how times playing games and having individual fun could have been spent with a beloved dog. Even knowing that the dog was happy does not erase the regret on not spending enough time playing with them. The dog from puppyhood spent so much thought, love and energy to always cheer us up when sick, scolded, or when their favorite human was mildly bored. Now the dog has been resting in peace for years and still small regrets about not spending enough time still pops up fro time to time.